Reenita's Wisdom

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Birthing A Child Is A Mother’s Work

Having deposited me at the hospital after I went into labor with my firstborn, my husband snuck around the corner with my father to grab some Indian food. Everyone had missed dinner given the excitement of my water breaking.

When Papa suggested that they order a bottle of red, my husband looked at him like he was from another planet. It was going to be a long night at the hospital; wine was certainly out of the question. Caught in a severe generation gap, my father thought that his son-in-law gone stark-raving mad. How did a night at the hospital, long or short, concern him? Birthing a child was a mother’s work and seeing her through the process was her mother’s work.

Traditional Versus Modern

Old northern Indian custom dictates that a woman return (from her husband’s home) to her maayka or mother’s home to give birth to her first child. In previous generations the birthing room was a strictly female zone flanked by the women of the household. It was considered taboo for any man (including the father-to-be) to be near enough to witness the ‘sounds’ of a woman’s labor. Both my parents were thrilled to host this time-honored tradition but had not yet come to terms with the reality of the modern age in which husbands typically ‘manage’ the birth process.

Thanks goodness though for the modern age. Considering my own mother had borne three children of her own, she was considerably squeamish about the procedure. Please can I stand on the head side, she begged. Amused by her reticence given her usually confident personality, I remained content with her sitting next to me and stroking my hair through contractions. Although she felt guilty later, it was a blessing to feel her hand tightly clutching mine as she recited the Gayatri Mantra, an ancient vedic prayer, throughout the birth process. It built one of the most important memories of my life, one that highlights the value of a mother’s love for her daughter.

All References Point to Mom

I have a deep affinity for the land of my birth. An Oedipal society, we grow up respecting India as our true mother and like most Indians I know, I am a strong believer in that life produces no coincidences. Ilya, my own daughter, was born the next morning to the musical rhapsody of A.R. Rahman’s famous patriotic song Ma Tujhe Salaam (we salute you our mother i.e. referring to ‘Mother India’). Nothing could have been more appropriate…it was India’s fifty-first anniversary of independence. All references that day pointed to mom!

Goddess Energy

My grandma, who had spent most of the night guarding the door to the birthing room in her best effort to maintain the tradition of the female birthing zone, stepped in to comment on her great granddaughter’s lusty cry. To her it showed promise of another confident girl-child to continue the line of strong women in our family. She gave her the middle name Devi, after that of her own mother. Devi, translates as ‘goddess.’ My grandma has a soft spot for female offspring; she believes that they symbolize the auspiciousness of goddess energy coming into your home.

My husband clicked a photo that morning that never fails to remind me of the interconnected bonds between daughters and mothers. The picture shows four generations of the women in our family: Pushpa (my grandmother), Veena (my mother), Reenita (myself) and Ilya Devi (my daughter). We are each a product of our mother’s work.

Many people ask me about Ayurveda - how it is applicable to modern life…is it applicable at all? While it might be hard to fathom how a system of medicine 5,000 years old can apply to us today, as an Ayurvedic traditionalist, I find comfort in knowing that although we have evolved as a race, our basic health needs and wants have not changed drastically over the course of civilization. And therein lies the healing power of Ayurveda. I refer to it as a wisdom practice because its tried and tested methods have been passed down the ages as healing wisdom.

Because Ayurveda is the Science of Life, it provides a set of tools that help you live in harmony with your natural environment. When this happens you can truly maintain a state of balance. Although mothering children is a historical tradition, our patterns of living are much more complex than those of our forefathers. Which is why when we make the transition to motherhood, many of us are often jolted out of balance. Wisdom practices such as Ayurveda can come in handy to help you re-align yourself to maintain a more positive state of emotional and physical health.

Contributed by Reenita, Ayurveda Clincian & Hybrid Mom (www.reenita.com)

Ayurveda is an ancient holistic health science from India.  Sanskrit for “the Science of Life,” it is a set of self-care guidelines that will help you stay healthy by connecting the power of your mind with the physical health of your body.  The term ‘medicine’ is considered limiting in the context of this life science, as it suggests healing only as a result of predetermined illness.  Ayurveda, however, is a complete system that addresses the prevention of illness in addition to providing a systematic approach for diagnosing and treating negative health issues.

Ayurveda recognizes that we are all different—that we all look and behave differently from one another, and react differently to everyday situations.  We are unique in everything from the foods we eat to the emotions we experience.  Our individual dispositions require that we customize diet, herbs, massage and bodywork, yoga, self care and lifestyle routines to help us maximize life force.  To stay healthy and balanced, Ayurveda recommends tailored lifestyle therapies, including digestive herbs, heavy oil therapies and detoxification programs.  These  are intended to be gentle, sustainable habits that can last a lifetime, not extreme regimes or quick fixes.  An entirely natural system, Ayurvedic lifestyle therapies utilize organic ingredients that are drawn from animal, vegetable and mineral sources. 

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